They come across what they assume is him: a mentally unstable, dirty old man in a field, who instead of giving them compensation money sells them a breeder pig for 100. * ThePigpen: Paddy considers Max to be this. Their situation worsens when Mick Bustin tries to charge them 500 to retrieve the campervan, causing the pair to break into Bustin's workshop and, in a parody of The A-Team, modify the van and 'bust' out back on to the road, only for the van to break down again miles later, Mick Bustin having never actually made any repairs. ]], ** Replace "crap" with "fuck" and you've got Mick. 16K views, 122 likes, 8 loves, 189 comments, 132 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from No Context Max and Paddy: The art of negotiation - by Raymond the Bastard The theme song was written by Toni Baker and Peter Kay, and borrowed heavily from the theme to the 1970s American series B. J. and the Bear. Join us in our mission to support and promote British comedy across the decades. Things get worse for the duo when Brian Potter turns up, determined to get his doo. Though Paddy [[ADateWithRosiePalms doesn't get very far]] before the volume wakes Max up. The 'Row Row Row Your Boat' sequence on the bus is borrowed from Dirty Harry, and in the scene where The Wolfster writes his telephone number on a beermat and hands it to Max, it is clearly a Peter Kay beermat, tying in with Kay's TV adverts for John Smith's Brewery bitter. With Max's inferior tunnelling skills, sharing a cell with Cliff Richard is the least of Paddy's worries; his good looks are bound to cause problems in the shower and not just in competing for the soap. ** A variant of this happens at the end of the same episode after Max and Paddy finally get some speakers for their TV and Paddy puts on his [[ParallelPornTitles "Charlie's Anals"]] DVD. The entire male staff of the Phoenix Club in Episode 4, stripped nude and sprayed with disinfectant. This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by team-mates for his physical resemblance to Patrick [=McGuinness=]. [[GassHole A lot. When Max and Paddy reach the cattle market, they discover the pig in ill health and they've been conned. This page is not available in other languages. Max has "How dare you" (delivered in a haughty tone) and "You only get a bucket and a half" (relating to the amount of semen a man can produce), and Paddy has "Paddy has needs" (relating to his sex drive). They end up changing their minds by the end of the episode [[spoiler:when they see a pig- possibly the same pig they bought from the farmer and ended up caring for- roast and served at a pub, and order two nut cutlets instead]]. It's real life this son, not the frigging Shawshank Redemption! No Context Max and Paddy. [1] A spin-off from Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights, the series follows the two Bolton doormen/bouncers Maxwell "Max" Bygraves (Kay) and Patrick "Paddy" O'Shea (McGuinness) as they tour around the UK in their campervan. While awaiting Tina's reluctant assistance to get them freed, they are forced to make a deal with Raymond the Bastard to share their non-existent loot. ]]\, '''Brian:''' [[spoiler: Sponge and a bit of jam. After being arrested for the school bus robbery, the two of them are in jail. He's not. The first secret was of his sketches of a dream TV series that he called "Magnet and Steel". The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. They soon discover that the old man who sold them the pig initially was actually the alcoholic father-in-law of the real farmer, and their money has probably all gone to the nearest pub. '', * EstablishingCharacterMoment: [[AxCrazy Billy the Butcher]] is introduced beating up a pizza delivery man with a bin for bringing him the wrong delivery. 35K views, 99 likes, 4 loves, 102 comments, 86 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from No Context Max and Paddy: You've got yourself a deal Mr Bastard! Max and Paddy Quotes @maxandpaddyline 16 Sep 2017 Follow Follow @ maxandpaddyline Following Following @ maxandpaddyline Unfollow Unfollow @ maxandpaddyline Blocked Blocked @ maxandpaddyline Unblock Unblock @ maxandpaddyline Pending Pending follow request from @ maxandpaddyline Cancel Cancel your follow request to @ maxandpaddyline [citation needed]. Amazingly, no one calls them on it. The pair come up with a plan to convince their fellow cellmates they are hardened criminals named the Phoenix Twins, in order to survive. * SchmuckBait: Raymond the Bastard telling Paddy to [[PrisonRape bend over and pick the soap up]]. Max actually has to wear goggles to defend his eyes. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". * JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Max and Paddy. Max and Paddy try to sell the pig on but no-one will take it as it is too old. It doesn't leave. For a cut of the money, he allows them to live in a cell with Sky+. * FatIdiot: Max is as much a KnowNothingKnowItAll as he was back in Phoenix Nights. Unbeknowst to Max, Billy has become obsessed with Max and goes to all lengths to give Max what he wants. Click here to login or here to sign up. * EmbarrassingNickname: When he was a child, Paddy wore callipers and braces and was nicknamed "Spazzy Paddy". He also calls people a clown or a melon if they've said something absurd. or. This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by team-mates for his physical resemblance to Patrick McGuinness. This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by teammates for his physical resemblance to Patrick [=McGuinness=]. * AcceptableTargets: In-universe, when Max and Paddy pull up to cut down a speed camera, passers-by salute and cheer them. -->And best of all, we don't pay council tax.''''. * MistakenForGay: A running gag in the first episode is an African family camped near the motorhome catching Max and Paddy in seemingly compromising positions. 5.7K views, 31 likes, 1 loves, 50 comments, 46 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Best of British Comedy: Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere - Raymond the Bastard * TheYardies: Raymond the Bastard is black, a convicted criminal, and speaks with a Jamaican accent, so it's safe to say he qualifies as a Yardie. When Billy catches Paddy snooping about his stuff, Billy pulls out his revolver and prepares to shoot him. * DepravedHomosexual: While Raymond The Bastard is more evil than depraved; his first scene features him in the shower being lathered up by two of his cronies and complementing Paddys genitals. It doesn't leave that much poo on the floor of their motorhome, but it farts. Paddy is forced to share a cell with a tennis-playing Cliff Richard impersonator who actually believes he is Cliff. Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by [[spoiler: not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting Tinas family remain intact. They have a change of heart though and head back to the farm to reclaim their 100. * DepravedDwarf: Subverted by Max's dwarf girlfriend, Tina, who's very much one of the nicest characters in the series. A popular English comedy band who had a TV show in the 80's. How old is Mrs McGuinness? But by sheer confidence and the perceived urgency of the situation, they manage to pull it off. Phoenix Nights spin-off focusing on the adventures of the two doormen. Image shows from L to R: Paddy (Paddy McGuinness), Max (Peter Kay). 14 * AmbiguouslyGay: Billy the Butcher has a Yandere-like obsession with Max, but insists he doesn't want to be with him in "a gay way." 15 * NonIndicativeName: The Patelster, a friend of Max's friend the Wolfster. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from thestaff@tvtropes.org. Raymond (The Bastard) 1 episode, 2004 Dean Stephens . The two of them get their own back on Brian by claiming there is an outbreak of Anthrax in the club, leading to the club and its staff to be subjected to nude sterilisation. * EmbarrassingNickname: When he was a child, Paddy wore callipers and braces and was nicknamed, * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniels father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. Email or phone: Password: Forgot account? Max and Paddy Quotes on Twitter: "I'm Raymond 'The bastard?' ** Despite being a one-shot character, Billy manages to get one by frequently adding the phrase "But not in a gay way" to anything that could be considered a DoubleEntendre. He just forces Max to shake his hand. * SeinfeldianConversation: Max and Paddy have these fairly regularly. Little does he realise at first that he has actually stolen the wrong bus and it isn't long before the police come after him. * VocalEvolution: Maxs voice is different than in Phoenix Nights because continuing it would have risked long-term damage to Peter Kays voice. Elsewhere Paddy's love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. ** Replace "crap" with "fuck" and you've got Mick Bustin's exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients' cars. Paddy is still bleeding profusely when he walks away afterwards.]]. You'd think by his name he'd be Indian, right? * TheCameo: The cast of Series/PhoenixNights briefly reprise their roles in Episodes Two and Four. Shortly after the series, the two characters starred in their own fitness video entitled "Max & Paddy: The Power of Two", which features a cameo from Brian. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". * {{Gayngster}}: Raymond the Bastard is possibly a Yardie, definitely a scary convict, and definitely gay. Max And Paddy's Road To Nowhere is the much-loved sequel to Peter Kay's critically-acclaimed comedy series, "Phoenix Nights". * TheRealSpoofbusters: Parodied with Mick Bostin', a Brummie car repairman with a Ghostbusters-themed garage shop, played by Noddie Holder of Music/Slade. "Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere" Episode #1.4 (TV Episode 2004) - IMDb Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". History for Series/MaxAndPaddysRoadToNowhere - TV Tropes Create new account. It doesn't leave that much poo on the floor of their motorhome, but it farts. * BearyFunny: Max and Paddy disguise themselves as dancing bears to obtain a TV screen from a supermarket. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard, who is also Pepe's boyfriend. Both Max and Paddy are oblivious to this. Brian brings Max and Paddy a cake while they are in prison and they immediately assume its this trope. See FanDisservice. Walsh works as a voice actor and has appeared in a number of radio productions for BBC Radio 4. * ButtMonkey: Gypsy Joe in the first episode. Politically Incorrect!". The theme tune to Road to Nowhere was co-written by Peter Kay and Toni Baker. [citation needed] He has also provided voiceovers for several video games. Elsewhere Paddys love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. Especially when, * StuffedInTheFridge: A literal version is discussed in Episode Four. ** The "Row Row Row Your Boat" sequence on the bus in episode three is borrowed from ''Film/DirtyHarry''. * PreAssKickingOneLiner: [[spoiler:"'Ave it!" * AmbiguouslyGay: Billy the Butcher has a Yandere-like obsession with Max, but insists he doesn't want to be with him in "a gay way.". '''Brian:''' [[spoiler: Sponge and a bit of jam. Its [[RealityEnsues real life]], not the frigging [[Film/TheShawshankRedemption Shawshank Redemption]]. * CoitusInterruptus: After Max and Paddy bring two girls back the motorhome, Paddy predictably has sex with one while Max prefers to have a drink and a civilised chat with the other. Manage all your favorite fandoms in one place! * AccidentalPublicConfession: Although it occurs in private; during an argument, Max's ex-girlfriend Tina frustratedly blurts out that [[spoiler: they have a child together.]]. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is Channel 4 Brit Com spun-off from the popular comedy Phoenix Nights that sees former Phoenix Club doormen Max ( Peter Kay) and Paddy (Paddy McGuinness) aimlessly travelling around Britain in a motorhome that they bought with the proceeds from faking an assassination and pocketing the cash during the final Raymond the bastard - YouTube Today at 2:34 AM The pair arrive in North-East England where Max meets his old friend and once fellow-doorman Billy "The Butcher" Shannon. After a fight with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. '''Max''': How dare you?! You need to be logged in to continue. Following on from the hi-jacking, Max and Paddy are now serving time at Her Majesty's Pleasure. * GreenEyedMonster: Billy the Butcher is murderously jealous of Paddy for replacing him as Max's bouncing partner. Sign Up. ]], * HugeGuyTinyGirl: Taken to its absolute limit with Max (who is both tall and fairly large) and Tina (a woman with dwarfism). Mayhem would then ensue as they tried to act appropriately in the situation, only to keep unintentionally doing magic tricks based on what they found in their outfits. The following morning, the two discover to their annoyance that they were a short walk away from a Petrol Station and a Travelodge. Christine, 33, and Paddy have three children. * RealityEnsues: [[spoiler:Paddy survives Billy the Butcher shooting him in the backside, but he's still bleeding profusely afterwards]]. He also reveals that he once had a one true love by the name of Tina. * WaxingLyrical: When Max finally meets [[spoiler: his long lost son Daniel]], he attempts to give him some meaningful advice and ends up accidentally quoting Father & Son to him. Facebook Raymond reasons with them after hearing about their "heists" and "raids". In 2011, he played his first major role in the feature film Screwed, directed by Reg Traviss, playing the part of Curtis Nelson. The room full of male bodybuilders is certainly a clue though. * MistakenForGay: A running gag in the first episode is a family camped near the motorhome catching Max and Paddy in seemingly compromising positions. You shouldn't upset him. Things get worse for the duo when Brian Potter turns up, determined to get his doormen out of jail. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin (Tinas husband and an old friend of Max who believes he is Daniels father) to remain a happy family. Paddy's full name is revealed to be Patrick O'Shea. [[spoiler:They carry out a similar robbery at the end of the same episode, except this time the [[GoldDigger Belgrano Sisters]] are doing it for them]]. The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. ]], ** Also, his and Paddy's attempts to sell a pig ''to a Halal restaurant! Or as Paddy calls them, "Big Bob's [[PrecisionFStrike Bastard]] Beans". And he's also an AxCrazy Yandere. The farmer sells them a breeding pig for 100, which he claims they can sell on for 300. [[HandsomeLech Paddy]] exploits his costume to feel up a little boy's mother. Whilst in the wood, Patrick reveals his full name whilst Max reveals some of his own secrets. The pair arrive in London, and immediately have an altercation with the traffic police. Paddy notes that theyre likely to suffer the same fate when [[spoiler: their lies (pretending to be rich gangsters and promising Raymond 60% of their loot in exchange for an easy life) are uncovered. Raymond has heard about the pair's alleged big-money heists and robberies, and wants a cut of their money. * OhCrap: Replace "crap" with "fuck" and you've got Mick Bustins exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients' cars. Me?! * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. While waiting, Max and Paddy catch the train to Middlewood, which actually turns out to be the last one that day, so the pair are forced to trek back through the woods, but get lost. * ContinuityNod: When Young Kenny appears in Episode Four, he still has the impossible to remove tiger facepaint that he got at Brians fun day in Series 2 of Series/PhoenixNights. [[spoiler: Daniel]] lampshades this. Get back you bastard! (exended - 40seconds) Max and Paddy - YouTube m and p by Emily Grant - Dailymotion Max & Paddy Steal A Plasma Screen | Peter Kay Watch on What is Altria known for? Brian mentions the Anthrax incident before performing his own upper-body work-out routine. The introduction of all but one of the episode shows Max and Paddy singing the following song: Don't know where we're going,Got no way of knowing,Driving on the Road to Nowhere.Sponging for a living,Checkin' out the women,Riding on the Road to Nowhere.And we take don't shit from anyone.The only thing we wanna do is have some fun.It's Max and Paddy (-Paddy and Max! Especially when theyre on the road. He's not. * SchmuckBait: Raymond the Bastard telling Paddy to [[PrisonRape bend over and pick the soap up]]. * DepravedHomosexual: While Raymond The Bastard is more evil than depraved, his first scene features him in the shower being lathered up by two of his cronies and complementing. Tina warns Max to keep his distance and not reveal the secret, but the following morning he informs Paddy and the pair steal what they think is a school bus with young Daniel aboard. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. * ActorAllusion: Paddy's full name is revealed to be Patrick O'Shea. * BritishBrevity: Only six episodes were made. TVTropes is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". Career His roles on television include Wayne in The Street, Raymond the Bastard in Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere and Cecil in Prime Suspect 5. * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. Unfortunately, he meets his old flame Tina, who is then finds out is married to the Wolfster. It doesn't leave that much poo on the floor of their motorhome, but it farts. Especially when they're on the road. [[spoiler:Or at least, the man they think is the farmer.]]. He points the gun at Max who tells him he needs help. Early life He trained at the Academy Drama School, where he was the recipient of the Stage Scholarship. ** A RunningGag in the first episode is an African family camped near the motorhome catching Max and Paddy in seemingly compromising positions. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two inept doormen, but feared gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. No Context Max and Paddy. The pair are now in prison together after the school bus incident. Line # Series/MaxAndPaddysRoadToNowhere - TV Tropes Max and Paddy pose as members of staff, and Joe pretends to faint so an ambulance will be called while Max and Paddy steal the TV from the stockroom. Doesn't take long before they try selling it. Maybe one or two biological weapons though. Episode 1's opening theme is instrumental and episodes 2 - 5's closing themes are too. After knocking down a cow in the countryside, Max and Paddy approach who they believe to be the farmer and ask for compensation. [[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/max_and_paddy.jpg]]. Brian brings Max and Paddy a cake while they are in prison and they immediately assume it's this trope. * RealMenEatMeat: Max and Paddy are of this opinion at the start of Episode 5. Login to create it. ** Paddy tries to have one at the end of the first episode but the volume of the TV wakes up Max who is less than pleased. After hi-jacking a school bus, the boys are sent to prison and play up their tough image in an attempt for survival. As is. Raymond the Bastard? Things get worse for the duo when Brian Potter turns up, determined to get his doormen out of jail. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. * FatBastard: Not Max, but one of Raymond the Bastard's hired thugs is pretty fat. Max and Paddy drive into North East England to visit Max's old doorman friend Billy 'The Butcher' Shannon, who had previously briefly appeared in the 1994 flashback in Episode 2. * BadassLongcoat: Billy the Butcher wears one of these. ]], * LuxuryPrisonSuite: [[spoiler: Max and Paddy get one complete with duvets, a box of, ** Replace "crap" with "fuck" and you've got Mick Bustins exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients' cars. Paddy doesn't oblige. ** In the first episode, Max and Paddy pull two girls at a nightclub and bring them back to the motorhome. ]], * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. * AnOfferYouCantRefuse: Raymond makes one with Max and Paddy for his share of the (fictitious) treasure they're pretending to have stolen. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. What they fail to notice at the same time is that Shannon is carrying a revolver, which he uses to force a Little Chef employee called Brenda (played by Alex Hall) to open for the trio late at night. ]], * EstablishingCharacterMoment: [[AxCrazy Billy the Butcher]] is introduced beating, * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. ** Paddy tries to have one at the end of the first episode but the volume of the TV wakes up Max who is less than pleased. When this happens, it's usually because the owner only shared it with a small group of people, changed who can see it or it's been deleted. Log In. See more of No Context Max and Paddy on Facebook. He claims they can sell it on at market for around 300. They are fugitives due to an incident in the last episodes of Phoenix Nights, in which a club patron threatened to have them killed by hitmen. * [[spoiler: ConvenientlyCellmates: Averted in the case of Max and Paddy along with some LampshadeHanging from a guard. They soon realise that they have been conned. Actor 1 episode, 2004 Beric George 1 episode, 2004 Stuart Wolfenden . Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is a British sitcom starring and written by Peter Kay and Patrick McGuinness. Max decides not to tell his son that he is his real father, allowing the family to get on with their lives without him interfering. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Max And Paddy animated GIFs to your conversations. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from thestaff@tvtropes.org. He has also appeared in Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Doctor Who. Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere: With Peter Kay, Paddy McGuinness, Lisa Hammond, Tony Mooney. Amazingly, no one calls them on it. * PsychopathicManchild: Apart from being murderously violent, Billy the Butcher spends time engaging in trivial debates with Paddy over correctly guessing the theme tunes to popular TV shows, where Paddy insists on going by ExactWords including the creators as well as the show titles. He wanted Phil 'The Pastie' Murphy to play the portly soldier in love with Max's mother. The first farmer (Graham Walker) that Max and Paddy meet is one of The Grumbleweeds. * [[spoiler: PrisonsAreGymnasiums: Episode Four includes a scene set in the prisons exercise yard and at the start of the episode, Paddys cellmate challenges him and Max to a game of tennis. Apparently, he wasn't much better as an actual child, stabbing his careworker 18 times with a potato peeler for making him play with a jigsaw puzzle that he didn't like. * PrecisionFStrike: Mick Bustins OhCrap moment. * DisabledSnarker: A woman with a HookHand flips Paddy off when he tries his CasanovaWannabe shtick on her. * DudeNotFunny: Max's bouncer friends making jokes about Tina's dwarfism. * [[spoiler: LukeIAmYourFather: Averted. Apart from being a bastard, he runs this wing. The lyrics are "Don't know where we're going, Got no way of knowing, Driving on the Road to Nowhere. Menu. You've got yourself a deal Mr Bastard! - Facebook We find out in this episode that Max's full name is Maxwell Bygraves, a jokey reference to the veteran British entertainer Max Bygraves. Paddy is forced to share a cell with a Cliff Richard impersonator and tennis enthusiast. * {{Hypocrite}}: When Max reveals that their new TV has no speakers, Paddy angrily calls Gypsy Joe a, * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. * ChekhovsGunman: Max's ex-girlfriend Tina appears in flashbacks in Episode Two before playing an important role in Episodes Three and Four. ]], * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is, * OhCrap: Replace crap with fuck and youve got Mick Bustins exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients cars.]].
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